Feeling a little melancholy,
A little blah.
A little blue.

Feeling like my tears could flow,
My voice could break,
My body cave….

And I don’t really know why.
(But maybe I do.)

It’s gray outside
And that’s always a factor.
It’s crunch time for high stakes testing
And that plays a roll.

Teachers are stressed.
Kids are stressed.
And it’s RAINING….

But I think it’s more about this time of year.
About knowing that change is coming.
It’s always coming.
And especially at a school….
Especially at our school.

We’re outside of the metro-area,
and that’s hard.
We’re 85% low SES,
and that’s harder.

Our teachers work HARD.
And our kids work HARD.

But it’s HARD.
Some days it is harder than harder than hard….

Most people don’t come here to stay.
And I know that come year’s end,
Many will leave.

And I can’t blame them.

They’ll find schools closer to home.
They’ll be offered their dream grade level at another district.
They’ll change careers altogether.

And in the meantime,  we sit in limbo.
Not knowing who stays or who goes.
Not knowing what plans we can make for next year.
We know things need to shift and to change.
We know our kids deserve the very, very best.

But we approach it not knowing so much….

And that, too, is hard.

How do you plan for the future when you don’t know who’s in it?
How do you make long-term gains?
How do you get past starting over…
Again and again and again…?

Because while most people don’t come here stay,
I did.
I’m 26 years in.
My school is struggling.
And on this gray March day, I feel every one of those years.

I question myself….
Am I good enough?
Do I do enough?
Am I …. enough….?

If I’m one of the constants in the equation,  am I a part of the solution….
Or am I a part of the problem?

So, yes.
Feeling a little melancholy,
A little blah.
A little blue.

Feeling like my tears could flow,
My voice could break,
My body cave….

And I don’t really know why.
(But maybe I do.)

Advertisements